Disarming Conflict

Posted on: December 1, 2009

I recently attended a seminar that was about disarming conflict and confrontation at work and wanted to share some thoughts during the holiday season. 

Although we all face the challenges of being politically correct when we’re in an uncomfortable situation; there is much to be said about how you handle it.

Ask yourself if you are a good listener.  We all think we listen but how many times have you caught your mind wandering when someone is speaking to you.  Listening is something you need to make an effort in doing.  This in itself can reduce the challenges you face in the workplace.

When we are faced with someone we know doesn’t like us, do you get defensive or can you take his or her comments or criticism easily or do you take it personally?  One thing you must learn to see in other people is their particular personality.  You must be able to see that individual’s specific personality; we are all unique in how we approach things so if you can put it into the proper context of that person’s personality; you can avoid confrontations with others by just understanding who they are as a person. 

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.  You can’t change anyone so the level of maturity you see and how he or she treats others is how they will treat you.  If you accept people treating you poorly, they will continue to treat you poorly because you accept it from them.  Don’t ever invest more in a relationship than what you can afford to lose; you will need to forgive in order to release it.

Have you ever let a situation take over your entire day and sometimes even overnight where you can’t sleep because of something someone said to you?  Besides it being unhealthy to carry that frustration, you need to let it go and not sweat the small stuff.  Not everyone is going to see things the same way you do and that’s okay but if you handle it the right way, you can let it go and move on to more important things. 

If others choose to talk about you, have the maturity to let it go and like yourself just the way you are.  If you consume yourself with someone else or someone else’s issues, you are just adding to your own drama and chaos and who needs those kind of headaches?  Are they worth thinking about them for any length of time…let it go!

Since we are in the holiday season, do something kind for someone you may have had issues with in the past.  Any small gesture can change a relationship and with all the pressures we face during the holidays, brighten yours by knowing you made an extra effort to change a challenging situation.  You won’t know the outcome unless you try it.

“The reasonable person adapts self to the world; the unreasonable person persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.” – George Bernard Shaw


3 Responses to "Disarming Conflict"

I just had a situation happen with an “outlaw” who does not like me and is very vocal about it. She is not one of my favorites either but I had decided for the sake of family peace that I would make the best of the situation. After two very public outbursts regarding her loathing for me I was very distraught. You are correct; I need to let this go because it has been eating at me. She is definitely not worth the aggrevation she has caused me. I am not yet at the point of doing something kind for her, other than avoiding her at all costs.

Thank you for your comment. I give you credit for dealing with it face on! Good luck!

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